Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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