so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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