Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
