So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
