Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
