I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
