is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I did not marry a roomba.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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