i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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