I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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