I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
