I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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