like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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