my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
