She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
