Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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