You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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