At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize