is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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