He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
