the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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