If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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