You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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