we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
