they said they heard you say put it in my butt
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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