we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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