"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize