Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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