Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
