Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
