did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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