Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
