i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
