I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
tell me about the fingering
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
