Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
