I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
