question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
