I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
