508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
