My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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