What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
