well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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