Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
