i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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