I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
