apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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