Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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