why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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