Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
