her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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