i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
