I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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