Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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