i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
