Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
